A writer named Alexandra Robbins – who was, she says, a “dork” in high school – believes that often the “quirky” people with offbeat or unpopular interests who are rejected and ridiculed in high school go on to become interesting, creative, successful adults. Why do you think offbeat teens are often social outsiders? Why do teenagers tend to embrace conformity instead of individuality?
In the article “A Former Geek Offers Hope,” Judith Newman explains Ms. Robbins’s theories about the conformity that rules high school life, in school, socially and even online:
Their stories beautifully demonstrate things we know intrinsically: that being popular is not always the same as being liked, that high school is more rigid and conformist than the military, and that the people who are excluded and bullied for their offbeat passions and refusal to conform are often the ones who are embraced and lauded for those very qualities in college and beyond — what Ms. Robbins has dubbed Quirk Theory.
As anyone who’s seen movies like “Heathers” knows, the social agonies of high school are nothing new. But the Internet has magnified those feelings of alienation for the oddballs. Partly it’s the relentless exposure to celebrity culture, to images of perfection and roaring success with little discernible talent. (Hello, Kardashians.) But it goes beyond issues of appearance.
“Facebook is now the online cafeteria,” Ms. Robbins says. “It’s this public space, largely unsupervised, and it mirrors the cafeteria dynamic where you walk in and have to find a place to belong. At school, you have to pick a table. Well, on Facebook you not only have to pick a table, you have to pick who’s at your table and who’s not. And then kids feel they have to be publicists for themselves, maintaining their photos and status. It’s exhausting.”
Also exhausting is the care and feeding of popularity, which Ms. Robbins has discovered is not so much about being liked (some popular teenagers are liked, many are not) as about being known. “Popularity is a combination of visibility, influence and recognizability,” she says. “If you’re someone who engages in studying or practicing violin, these are not activities that put you in front of the student body. So these kids aren’t in the popular crowd, but it doesn’t say anything other than the fact that their talents are not visible.”
In other words, the president of the chess club may have more real friends than the cheerleader, but still be considered unpopular.
Students: Tell us what you think about school culture. Do you find it to be conformist? If so, why do you think that is? If not, why do you think the culture is different at your school? How are quirky types treated? Are you “popular,” or do you aspire to be? Are the “popular” kids generally well-liked? Do you think you’re a “quirky” type who might flourish more after high school? Or are you someone who generally tries to fit in?
Students 13 and older are invited to comment below. Please use only your first name. For privacy policy reasons, we will not publish student comments that include a last name.
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